Chapter 4: Apologies and Excuses

Introduction

Watch this chapter’s video. It takes place in the campground office.

Notice how Claire and Ivan adjust how they speak after they realize that something they said or did offended another person. Notice, too, how Gilles and Claire handle apologies.

Focus Questions

In this chapter, strangers, neighbours, family members, and friends have to mend relationships. Gilles and Claire face the consequences of Claire’s mistake in registering an unwanted musician. Ivan stops making excuses for his unneighbourly behaviour. Roshan receives an unexpected phone call from his father. His friend Nick has his own reason for saying sorry.

1. Think about times you might apologize. What is normal for you?

  • Fill in the table with your ideas about apologizing.
  • Be prepared to discuss your answers and ideas with others.
Situation Do you apologize? Face to face or in writing? Publicly or privately? To familiar or unfamiliar people? In close or distant relationships? With a person of higher, equal, or lower status?
You are confused. Yes / No
You bump into someone. Yes / No
Someone bumps into you. Yes / No
You break a rule. Yes / No
You have to enforce a rule. Yes / No
You ask someone for help. Yes / No
You disagree with someone. Yes / No

2. Think about your experiences of apologizing. What body language, tone and intonation, and words are normal when you apologize? Complete the table below.

What Apologizing LOOKS LIKE What Apologizing SOUNDS LIKE
My head…

My eyes…

My face…

My shoulders…

My hands…

My feet…

 

My voice becomes

  • higher or lower
  • louder or quieter
  • stronger or softer

My speech becomes

  • faster or slower
Words I say or write when I apologize:

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Decide if apologies change depending on who you’re talking to.

Select each description that is most true for you.

† I don’t apologize to everyone.
† I don’t apologize for everything.
† Apologizing might cause conflicts in relationships.
† If my status or relationship is delicate or important, I might not apologize.
† I don’t expect people who have higher status to apologize to me.
† I don’t have to apologize because of my high status.
† I apologize to many people.
† I apologize for many reasons.
† Apologizing helps avoid conflicts in relationships.
† If my status or relationship is delicate or important, I will apologize.
† Apologizing shows equality.

Place the on the dot closest to the way you express apologies.

Scale of checkmarks from left to right

Objectives

In this chapter, we will

  • recognize when and/or why people feel an apology is appropriate
  • compare how people apologize
  • identify personal and cultural expectations around apologies
  • look for patterns of formality and directness when people apologize and respond to familiar and unfamiliar people apologizing to them
  • adjust verbal and non-verbal communication in giving and responding to apologies.

You will build up your language skills in

  • vocabulary through synonyms, word families, phrasal verbs, idioms, and texting abbreviations
  • accuracy through grammar practice with modal verbs of advice and regret
  • fluency through writing and speaking tasks related to making and responding to apologies and explaining actions to members of our communities.

License

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In the Community: An Intermediate Integrated Skills Textbook Copyright © by NorQuest College is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.

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