Helping Skills

Helping skills often fall into the category of soft skills. Soft skills are defined by Pavlou (n.d.) as “general traits not specific to any job, helping employees excel in any workplace. They include communication, teamwork, and adaptability, often termed as transferable or interpersonal skills. They’re essential for professional success.” This contrasts with hard skills, which are “your technical abilities and practical job or industry-specific knowledge. You typically learn hard skills through formal education, job training, or self-directed learning” (Perry, 2024). Some examples of hard skills are Microsoft Office proficiency, software development, marketing skills, first aid, and naloxone training.

A definition of helping provides a framework for understanding the layers of skills that will be developed in the field of community support work. Helping is defined by Brammer and MacDonald as “building a relationship and facilitating positive action” (2003, p. 4). Take a moment to reflect on what helping means to you. Consider an example of a natural disaster that impacted a community and led to people being temporarily unhoused. Imagine some support workers were sent to the community centre to provide support and direct people to resources. What personality traits and skills would you imagine these support workers hold to make them trustworthy, capable, and able to effectively provide support to community members? Ask a friend or family member the same question. Compare your results; you may find them to be different. If they are different, to what would you attribute the differences? Perhaps personality, culture, or having diverse needs. What traits and skills did you find to be similar?

Look at approaches to helping; there are several things to consider when working with different people depending upon their needs, background, and preferences. What will likely be consistent is the ability to connect, form relationships, enhance trust, and communicate effectively. An understanding of interpersonal communication skills will provide a basis for some foundational techniques that can be developed and improved upon to be an effective helper.

Developing effective interpersonal communication skills is a key aspect of building rapport with clients, which in turn enhances trust. Interpersonal communication has many components. As an introduction, we will focus on active listening, verbal and nonverbal communication, emotional intelligence, problem solving, and empathy.

Active listening is a highly valuable skill to instill trust and understanding, creating a sense of safety. According to MindTools Content Team (n.d.), active listening involves making a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying, but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated. While engaged in active listening, we are paying full attention to the other person and following their cues.

While watching the video, what did you notice about your listening style? How can it be improved? Begin to notice in your conversations if you are actively listening and test your skills by asking meaningful questions throughout the conversation. Active listening is enhanced by awareness of our verbal and nonverbal communication skills.

Verbal communication skills are used to develop rapport, demonstrate friendliness, and create trust. Verbal communication is supported by, and processed along with, nonverbal communication. Our words are very important, but the delivery of those verbal messages is also a significant part of communication. Be aware of your body language: posture, stance, and facial expressions all convey meaning. Nonverbal communication is very quick, and is processed by the brain much faster than verbal communication. According to Grimes et al. (2018),

Nonverbal communication gives your thoughts and feelings away before you are even aware of what you are thinking or how you feel. People may see and hear more than you ever anticipated. Your nonverbal communication includes both intentional and unintentional messages, but since it all happens so fast, the unintentional ones can contradict what you know you are supposed to say or how you are supposed to react (chapter 4, sec. 23, para. 8).

As the above paragraph states, nonverbal communication is processed very quickly, which may catch us off guard. We may even experience cognitive dissonance, “the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes” (Cherry, 2022). This is when what we feel or say is disconnected from our nonverbal cues, and we are unable to reconcile the two expressions. Becoming more self-aware includes a deeper awareness of the mind-body connection, which will provide opportunity to understand one’s own nonverbal cues more effectively, creating inner coherence. This can be achieved through reflection, mindfulness practices, and self-awareness. As we become more effective interpersonal communicators, we are increasing our problem solving and empathy.

MindTools Content Team (n.d.) defined emotional intelligence as “the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they’re telling you, and realize how your emotions effect people around you.” Emotional intelligence is a soft skill that is developed throughout life by role models in one’s family, education systems, culture, and society at large. This skill can also be cultivated and learned through self-awareness and reflection. According to Evolved Metrics (n.d.), emotional intelligence, a term coined by Daniel Goleman, is comprised of the following four components: “self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and conflict management skills.”

When working in the human services field, emotional intelligence is extremely important for connecting with clients and providing support in an effective way, particularly when working with vulnerable populations and people who have experienced various levels of trauma. Trauma often interferes with our ability to be aware of our emotions or the emotions of others, as the brain is operating in a state of alarm where the sympathetic nervous system is easily activated.

Riyaz (2022) explored the impact of trauma on emotional intelligence, stating, “Being self-aware and aware of others’ emotions needs us to be attentive. For that our minds need to be relaxed and present. But when we have trauma, we may not have a full grasp on this skill. Thus, we stay ignorant of our own emotions as well as the emotions of others.” Riyaz provided a positive solution to this impact of trauma on emotional intelligence, observing that “Trauma may affect our brains in a negative way, but trauma also leads to enormous growth, resilience, and empowerment, something called post-traumatic growth. […] Our past traumatic experiences can be opportunities for us to grow and improve on our emotional intelligence.” As a professional support worker, being aware of our emotions and the impact of trauma on the brain will influence our communication with clients and our ability to make them feel comfortable, reassured, and confident in our ability to assist them.

For professional CSWs, emotional intelligence, self-regulation, and healthy communication are key skills. This allows clients to feel safe and influences them to learn the same skills. Emotional intelligence is often linked to empathy, as being more aware of one’s own emotions creates a deeper capacity to truly understand and empathize with what another person is feeling without judgment or the need to solve the problem for them. This also leads to more effective problem solving and conflict resolution skills, and serves as a positive model for clients.

With emotional intelligence, we are able to hold internal boundaries with clients, thereby being able to provide guidance and support to develop action plans, set goals, and problem solve from a place of self determination and empowerment. As professionals, we develop our interpersonal communication skills and emotional intelligence, which we will bring into our work with clients. A very important aspect of this relationship with clients is the ability to ask questions, paraphrase, and reframe, to support clients in achieving their goals.

References

Brammer, L. M., & MacDonald, G. (2003). The helping relationship: Process and skills (8th ed.). Allyn and Bacon.

Cherry, K. (2022, November 7). Cognitive dissonance and the discomfort of holding conflicting beliefs: How we resolve our internal conflicts. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-cognitive-dissonance-2795012

Evolved Metrics. (n.d.). What are the four steps of emotional intelligence: A concise guide. https://evolvedmetrics.com/what-are-the-four-steps-of-emotional-intelligence/

Grimes, M., Roch, S., Simon, D., Greene, T., & Hayman, J. (2018). Communication for business professionals. ECampusOntraio. https://ecampusontario.pressbooks.pub/commbusprofcdn/

MindTools Content Team. (n.d.). Active listening. MindTools. https://www.mindtools.com/az4wxv7/active-listening

Pavlou, C. (n.d.). What are soft skills? Resources for Employers. https://resources.workable.com/hr-terms/what-are-soft-skills

Perry, E. (2024, June 14). What are hard skills & examples for your resume. BetterUp. https://www.betterup.com/blog/hard-skills

Riyaz, N. (2022, February 10). Trauma: A barrier or an opportunity for emotional intelligence? https://www.drnajmunriyaz.com/trauma-a-barrier-or-an-opportunity-for-emotionally-intelligence/

Image Credit

Figure 1: Non-verbal communication by Matthais Berg, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.