Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is a key component of helping professions. Without understanding ourselves, our triggers, and our inner world, it may be difficult to relate to others. Self-awareness supports healthy boundaries, reduces burnout, and improves interpersonal communication. But what is it exactly? Let’s dive in and find out.

A common misbelief is that self-awareness is easy or comes naturally, and that everyone knows their own thoughts and feelings. However, we often operate from false consciousness, which is ego-based thinking and responding. Being egoic is defined as “an individual’s alignment with a constructed sense of identity, primarily anchored in the mind’s continuous stream of thoughts, beliefs, and narratives. This egoic self is a mental construct, a byproduct of our life experiences, societal conditioning, and personal interpretations of the world around us” (Meridian University, 2023).

You may think of this as your inner critic, that voice in your head that seems to be a judge. We often don’t notice this inner critic because we are so accustomed to thinking in this way; we operate with the belief that this is our inner truth. But as you become more self-aware, you will notice there are many emotions and possibilities within your mind. Some are loud, and some are quiet. According to Eurich, “Almost everyone thinks they’re self-aware, but only about 10–15 percent of people have achieved the status” (Talesnik, 2019, para. 4). Self-awareness is “your ability to perceive and understand the things that make you who you are as an individual, including your personality, actions, values, beliefs, emotions, and thoughts” (Cherry, 2024).

Self-awareness helps us to see the whole inner world within each of us that often goes unexplored. In contrast, when someone is not self-aware, they may be less objective of their behaviour, be unaware of their limiting beliefs and cognitive biases, and react to situations rather than respond. According to the American Association of Colleges of Nursing (n.d.), “The purpose of engaging in self-awareness is understanding the personal inner world and the interpersonal outer world. The insight and understanding achieved through self-awareness enable management of feelings, thoughts, and actions in order to protect and improve oneself” (para. 3).

Davey (2023) noted the following as indicators of a lack of self-awareness: People don’t adapt their behaviour; they use the same approach repeatedly; they’re surprised by people’s reactions; they get defensive about feedback; they overestimate their contributions; and they underestimate the damage they cause and the negative impact of their behaviour (para. 4). We may all demonstrate some of these behaviours at times, but through critical thinking, reflection, and self-awareness, we can be open to inner change and growth that will lead to improved communication and relationships, enhanced self-esteem, and an inner sense of peace and acceptance of self.

Some ways to become more self-aware include mindfulness, spending time acknowledging and processing our daily experiences through journalling, art, therapy, and more, developing a growth mindset, and demonstrating self-compassion. Community, belonging, and collective practices, such as participating in sweat lodges, ceremonies, sharing circles, and spiritual practices, can also enhance self-awareness. We can also observe and reflect on our triggers, emotions, and reactions to people and situations. This leads to personal responsibility whereby we realize change comes from within. We cannot control external events, but we can control our response to them. As the Dali Lama famously stated, “A genuine change must first come from within the individual, only then can he or she attempt to make a significant contribution to humanity” (2012).

Without self-awareness, people tend to blame others for what went wrong, and have a low level of personal accountability. Asking others how they perceive us is another way to improve self-awareness, as we all have blind spots and don’t realize how certain behaviours come across. This process can be beneficial but also challenging if we disagree with or are triggered by the person’s feedback. For example, we may think we are great listeners, but when we ask our friends and family, they may disagree. On the other hand, we may feel insecure about our writing skills, yet we get very positive feedback from classmates and instructors.

Self-awareness not only improves your inner and personal life, but your professional relationships as well. Being self-aware leads us to encourage clients to explore their inner thought process as well, which encourages their growth. Like critical thinking and reflection, self-awareness is an active process, and can be learned and explored throughout life. There is no end to inner growth and transformation.

References

American Association of Colleges of Nursing. (n.d.). Self-awareness. https://www.aacnnursing.org/5b-tool-kit/themes/self-awareness

Cherry, K. (2024, May 9). How to boost your self-awareness. Verywellmind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-awareness-2795023

Dalai Lama. (2012, September 23). Quote. Philosiblog. https://philosiblog.com/2012/09/23/a-genuine-change-must-first-come-from-within-the-individual-only-then-can-he-or-she-attempt-to-make-a-significant-contribution-to-humanity/

Davey, L. (2023, June 4). How to deal with someone who is not self-aware. https://www.lianedavey.com/how-to-deal-with-someone-who-is-not-self-aware/

Meridian University. (2023, December 20). Egoic illusions vs. true self: A journey of self-discovery. https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/egoic-illusions-vs-true-self-a-journey-of-self-discovery

Talesnik, D. (2019). Eurich explores why self-awareness matters. NIH Record, LXXI(13). https://nihrecord.nih.gov/2019/06/28/eurich-explores-why-self-awareness-matters